March 2, 2011

Spring Mourning

My dad, Mike and I went to a seminar by Dr. Alan Wolfelt last evening. It was called, Healing Your Grieving Heart When Someone You Love Has Died.
The seminar was educational, timely and personally valuable. Here are recent photographs and some quotes from the presentation.

"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal." 
C.S. Lewis

(The "misty moisty" day turned blue violet at sunset.)

“The difference between "grief" and "mourning": 
Grief is the internal feelings of your loss.
Mourning is the external expressions of your grief.” 
Alan Wolfelt

"In some ways, love and grief are very much alike. They both have the power to forever change our lives. Just as I surrender to love, I must surrender to my grief. Actually, doing well with your grief means becoming well acquainted with your pain." Alan Wolfelt

"Our grief journey has no one destination. We will not "get over" this grief, but instead become reconciled to it. The understanding that we don't have to be done is liberating. I will mourn this death for the rest of my life." Alan Wolfelt


Anonymous said...

Hi Laurie,
I am thinking about you ALOT!
I have read some things that Alan Wolfelt has written. I even thought I would make it to a seminar but it never happened.

In a reading, I remembered his quote about the difference between grief and mourning.......

I will have to look and see if I still have any of his book(s). I know I have read so many books on grief but didn't keep many of them.

I am only 3 years into this grief and mourning walked those early days and months with me...I miss Joslyn. I continue to adjust to not having her presence within in our family.

I am so thankful that Joslyn IS with the Lord. I find myself very eager to get to heaven just to be with her!

Laurie~ I love you and hope to see you SOON.
Blessings and Prayers,

Laurie said...


Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Joslyn will always be missed and loved. I can still imagine her sweet voice and laugh and her peaceful presence. Yes! Joslyn and my Mom are with the Lord! This does make us all the more eager for heaven!

Here are more excerpts from Alan Wolfelt that have been helpful:

"Our society encourages people to prematurely move away from their grief instead of toward it. If we want to help bereaved people we must remember that it is through the process of moving toward pain that we move toward eventual healing."

(Moving "toward pain" helps us "move toward eventual healing"! (Wait! Haven't we been conditioned to avoid pain?) This has been so helpful to me in understanding what it is to mourn fully... painfully, but fully...)

"We never "get over" our grief but instead become reconciled to it. Those people who think the goal is to "resolve" grief become destructive to the healing process.'

Love ya,

Olivia Arlene said...

I'm so glad you were able to go to that seminar and that you were able to find it helpful. I appreciate all the quotes. I know my grief is different than the grief that you and Grandad have, but it is grief none the less. It is "liberating" to know that you don't just have to "get over" it or move on. Grandma will be in my heart forever. She will be forever missed.

TAB said...

I love you.

tsbjf said...

Thank you for the quotes. They were very eye opening truths!