A Post I Don't Want To Write

Our 19-year-old adopted daughter left home. (I insert the word "adopted", not as an excuse, disclaimer or explanation, but as information that adds to the complexity of her leaving. She was adopted by us at the age of 7.) She ran away from home to be more excruciatingly honest. We know where she is, thanks to living in a small town where it is fairly difficult to live with much anonymity, but we haven’t spoken to her since last Sunday afternoon. She was given a ride to a nearby town by a friendly (thankfully) farmer. She is staying in a “shelter” that is “safe”, but not as safe as home. The facts are wearisome and for Christine’s sake I won’t go into them here. I said I didn’t want to write this post. Then why did I? One: I’m asking for prayer for Christine. Please pray for honesty and truth. Pray for safety and protection. Pray for repentance. She is 19 in years, but not in emotional, intellectual or mental development. Please pray for Mike and me and others who love her and those who are getting to know her now. Two: I blog… and though this blog is not a diary of secrets best kept under lock and key, obviously, it does contain honest thoughts, struggles, and joys about living as a “Tulip in the Thicket”. I’ve always loved that word picture as well as the photograph. Now, it seems to be a strange metaphor in full bloom. Three: As I thought about the personal content of this post (the exposure) and wondered about keeping quiet about this, I also felt I’d be dishonest in not sharing. So I share, but I will not dwell here. I wrestle with an urge to defend or vindicate myself and an urge to spit out what it is I imagine to be God’s purpose and how He may be working in the situation and I shake my head at my presumptuousness. God’s ways are far above ours! Isaiah 55:9-11 Prudence and Honesty have argued with each other and have come to an understanding. If this seems to the point, it is. The truth is I’m weary and disheartened, but not without hope…ever. Psalm 42:11 Romans 5:3-8

Comments

Terri said…
I have walked in your shoes and it is not a pair that I would like to keep. I will keep all of you in my prayers. I know the pain, the fear, the anger and all else that goes with it. What is God's purpose in this? One may never know until we meet Him face to face. My our Heavenly Father cradle you in His arms until this storm passes.
LivG said…
Christine has been on my heart since you told me that she left last week. I will certainly keep her in my thoughts and prayers as well as you and dad. ~Love and hugs~
Zoanna said…
I'm so sorry, Laurie. I cannot imagine the heartache. As someone who ran away a lot (though never for days) I can say it stemmed from a deep desire to know if my parents would miss me if I was gone. I thought they loved my sisters more (which was not true; I just made myself harder to be loved, humanly speaking). Make sure she knows you want her; don't assume she knows or will "get over" the drama. That's all I'll say, which is probably too much, but I am remembering some difficult teen years of my own, wishing my parents had gotten in the car and looked for me, even though I was within a mile from home.
TAB said…
Thanks for sharing, mom. Love ya!
Laurel said…
Laurie, I'm so very sorry to hear this, and yet glad that you shared it. Your family has been in my prayers all day, and will continue to be so.
Chris said…
Praying Psalms 91 for your Christine and our Melissa while they are both away from home...
Adam Parker said…
Arryn and I will be praying for Christine and for you guys all day long.
Laurie said…
Thank you, thank you dear readers for your comments and for letting us know you are praying.
Thank you for encouragement.
This is a sensitive thing in one sense, yet in another sense it is so real that it calls for some transparency. Since this is not the first time she has left and due to the nature of the facts in her leaving, we will not go bring her home this time. It may seem harsh, but it is a conviction we have unless or until the Lord gives more revelation. There is a point when a parent knows what is best for a son or daughter, but if resistance, rebellion and lies skew the son or daughter's truth, no amount of the best intentions will change a heart. Clearly, that is God’s work. Yes, as soon as we knew she left, we got in the car to search and search… The way this played out leads us to believe that the Lord went before her (doesn’t He always go before us?) to safely grant her “success in running away” this time. We have contacted the place she is staying to let them know we know she is there. We have contacted her by letters to let her know we know where she is and that she is welcome home (with resolutions of some serious issues) and welcome to call and write. (Yes, we sent her a stamped envelope.)
zoanna said…
Once again I'm sorry, but this time it's for putting my mouth where it didn't belong. Getting into business that isn't mine is like "taking a mad dog by the ears," as one Proverb says. I don't know you all or your daughter or the situation, and should have left well enough alone. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I've never been in your shoes and should not offered one word of counsel. You're right, "There is a point when a parent knows what is best for a son or daughter, but if resistance, rebellion and lies skew the son or daughter's truth, no amount of the best intentions will change a heart."

Right after I hit "POST COMMENT" on my last comment, I wanted to reach into the screen, pull it out, and smash it. I am so sorry for saying more than, "I'm sorry and will be praying." That much is certain.
Anonymous said…
Hi Laurie,
You are always on my mind and you know I am praying. I have a special place in my heart for Christine and pray for God's direction to fall on her.
We'll talk soon
Love you so much.
Carolyn
Anonymous said…
This lady in the cemetary catches my eye everytime I am there to see Joslyn.
Love ya.

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE HOUSE SELLING. :)
Laurie said…
Dear sweet Zoanna,
Thank you for your graciousness.
Thank you for praying.
I just love you and of course forgive you and did and do realize your concerns are sincere.
God bless you,
Laurie
Karen said…
just now getting to comment on this post. My sister did this a lot when she was a teenager. While I don't know the pain that you must be going through as a parent, I know the pain of a sister. I am praying for you and Mike, Christine and her siblings.

God bless you.

Phillipian 4:4-7

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God,which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Zoanna said…
Thank you. I feel much better now.
Laurie said…
Carolyn, Thanks for your love and care for me and Christine! We've been in this together from the start!
Love you too!
Laurie said…
Thank you, dear Karen... and for the scripture. Amen.
christine said…
I have email address if you would like to write. christine_hoag@yahoo.com.
And I am not at the Ashby house any more.I am with my boyfriend now.

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